bravery

Power of Ignore (Or Ignorance)

Jay Irvin bravery, courage, growth, leadership, opinion, organizational change, police, problem solving, Uncategorized , , , , ,

ig·nore  verb   —refuse to take notice of or acknowledge; disregard intentionally.

fail to consider (something significant)

If you’re like most people you probably deny you ignore problems. But it’s more common that we think.

martin

In fact, ignoring a problem is a coping mechanism we’ve used since cave-man days.   Often it’s easier to ignore a problem instead of trying to solve a problem. If we deem there is no problem then there is no worry about solving a problem that we deem doesn’t even exist!

Personally, being ignorant (a variant of the verb ignore) is a survival mechanism. If facing our problem is not directly linked to survival we make it a lower (or no) priority. Once survival needs are met, it’s easy to ignore other problems. With this mantra, our life seems to become easier…. But this is a fallacy. Ignored problems never go away. What was a small issue becomes a great problem when it is ignored over time.

There are dozens of business examples failing when leaders ignore problems. When the business leaders fail to critically examine policies, process, the market, customers, and trends they ignore potentials problems.

Ignoring problems (or failing to try to proactively find and solve problems) is a failure of leadership.

During the 1990’s my friends were in the 1-hour photo business. Things were profitable for more than 10 years. Business was good. It was easier to ignore future problems. In their business world nothing was changing. Yes, there were some stirrings of electronic digital cameras in a distant horizon, but that technology was expensive. In 1995 a good digital camera cost between $5,000 – $6,000.  There was nothing to worry about. Customers always wanted the cheaper and more convenient 1-hour service. My friends ignored the issue… After all, they had a government contract for film development.  Ignorance was bliss—that is until digital cameras oversold film cameras in 2003. My friends went bankrupt.

Blockbuster video opened first in Dallas Texas in 1985. Nine years later Viacom bought Blockbuster for an unprecedented $8.4 billion. Blockbuster ignored Netflix as a competition. Blockbuster ignored the change in the video market from stores to subscription home delivery. Blockbuster executives literally laughed aloud at a 2002 offer to acquire Netflix. Blockbuster ignores kiosk rental service beginning in 2003 (Redbox). Blockbuster ignored the customer complaints of late fees for 14 years. In September 2010 Blockbuster went bankrupt. Ignoring the changing market and customer needs was expensive.

Circuit City was a 60 year old electronic and appliance behemoth and went belly up because the executive leaders ignored basic problems.

After 120 years in business Kodak Eastman went bankrupt in 2013 because it ignored its core business. Kodak insisted it was in the “film” industry and ignored “digital imaging” as the new paradigm.

This is not unique to business. Government and police organizations litter the landscape with examples of failure due to the power of ignore.

A victim reports a sex crime. The police officer waits a few days to ‘check in’ to the allegations. Ignored and avoided, the victim went to the local news outlet to get answers. The Chief of Police is then explaining the lack of timely response by the officer and trying to avoid a public embarrassment. The officer is censured for ignoring the call for service.

A senior executive received damning information about the organization. The boss gave the executive a mandate to investigate and find the validity of the information. The executive delayed 2 months to beginning an investigation. The message is: Ignore a message long enough and it may go away. Conversely the thinking is: This issue isn’t serious enough to put energy into it. They ignored the seriousness of the allegations.

An agency chief bemoaned aloud that there was no accountability for his executive staff.   He indicated there were no measurements to determine if the junior staffers were being effective. Eventually he decided there were no effective way to measure efficacy of staff work; so the problem went away. He ignored the real issue.

Months ago a senior executive administrator was asked a similar question: “What are the matrices or benchmarks associated with [a key position in the organization]? After the executive stopped laughing (yes, he literally laughed out loud), he said:

“There is no way to measure effectiveness in [that position]. There are no benchmarks or matrices.”

Essentially he said no problem exists, so we can ignore a problem we haven’t specified.

What are the differences between these responses?  In substance, the officer, the senior executive, and the chief was ignoring or denying that problems exists. This is a leadership fail.

The reason business and government leaders ignore problems is because they fear change. Period. Dr. Robert Kriegel (Sacred Cows Make the Best Burgers) wrote that in 1996.   News flash: 20 years later— NOTHING HAS CHANGED.

In 2016 John Kotter (author of That’s Not How We Do it Here)  postulates organizations need disruption and stability to thrive.   Management is about stability.  Leadership is about disruption.  There is no place to ignore issues.   Leaders disrupt. Leaders need courage.

Organizationally blissful ignorance is sometimes the modus operandi. For managers and supervisors it’s easier to ignore problems rather than try to effect solutions. Maintaining the status quo is safer than working to solve an issue. The mantra seems to be

“If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”

Dr. Kriegel says new mantra should be

“If it ain’t broke; Break it”

Kriegel says we must face our fears and embrace whatever change we experience.  There is no dodging the rapid change of society.  Things change more quickly than it used to and the pressures can be intense.

The opposite of ignorance is not knowledge.  The opposite of ignorance is courage.  The solution to ignorance is to develop courage.  We dispel ignorance by courageously asking questions and seeking answers.  If we, as leaders, experience courage then our knowledge grows and our ignorance doesn’t have so much power.

We must have courage :

  • To look at the unknown
  • To ask questions that are uncomfortable
  • To challenge the status quo
  • To act when action is needed
  • To be politically incorrect
  • To “get it wrong”
  • To see past the platitudes and seek causal issues
  •  To feel discomfort and move past it

Yes, there is a power to ignore…. But ignorance not a positive power.

Of course, your mileage may vary…

Dr. Jay

 

 

 

 

 

Live Like You Were Dying Pt 1

Jay Irvin bravery, courage, growth, mindfulness, opinion, psychology , , , , , ,

This is an excerpt from my book “How to Live Like You Were Dying: Notes from a Cancer Survivor”        Originally written in 2005.

llywdying

Chapter One

 
“O death, be not proud” from Sonnet X, Jon Donne

 
For most of us, the good news about dying is that we don’t know when it’s going to happen. We don’t know when we are going to die. And for most of us we don’t use the term “good news” and dying in the same sentence, but I’m getting off point.

For most people when the idea of passing away comes up, ignorance is bliss. Psychologists call it denial. To me, it was just the way I lived. For me it was normal.

I never thought much about dying. I certainly didn’t worry about it. I certainly never considered writing about dying. Happily, this isn’t about dying. It’s about how to live. It’s about how I learned to live based on circumstances in my life. It’s how you and I might live better if we have an awareness of our mortality.

On the rare occasion I thought about the possibility of dying I didn’t think it would be my turn soon. I often joked that I wasn’t afraid of death… I just didn’t want to be on the next bus load. I laughed when other people joked about dying; the old joke that they didn’t mind death, it was the dying that was a nuisance. In short, I didn’t make much space in my thinking for mortality, death, or dying.

But who does? Certainly none of the people I knew or associated with did. We were macho. We were immortal, or so we thought.

I only casually thought about death when I brushed past it in my life. A long-time loyal bar customer had an unexpected heart attack and I said a few words at the eulogy. A cherished employee passed from AIDS related disease and I told him “Thanks & Goodbye” in the hospice. A student friend had gotten killed in an automobile accident and it was a shock.

My best friend from grade school was killed in a motorcycle wreck, but with his reckless life, I kind of expected it. Even my father had passed away years before from heart disease near age 69. But I was unfazed; he was in poor health and had heart disease.

I never considered my mortality. As I moved from my 20’s to 30’s and into my 40’s I felt my body change. I got tired easier, I got heavier. I got “soft”. Some would say my body was deteriorating and there’s a medical argument for that, but I never considered the possibility that I could be dying. I never considered that I could be dying soon.

It was a big shock when my oncologist diverted her eyes from mine on our first office visit and told me at best, I had six months to live.

SIX MONTHS? That’s only 180 days. How could she give me this “death sentence” with such certainty? How could she not look me in the eyes when she said this? What was so important on that paper that she had to look at it when she delivered this shocker to me?

I was shocked. I was in disbelief. The doctor had to have made a mistake. I didn’t feel like I was dying.

After all what kind of credibility could she have? She had a bad hair color and dandruff! Her hair was a little greasy and unkempt. There were dandruff flakes on her shoulders. Her roots didn’t match.

Here was a medical doctor, an oncologist, a trained professional giving me devastating news and I was focusing on her personal grooming habits and lack of style! It’s amazing what tricks the mind can play when one gets such shocking news. I was getting the worst possible news in my life and I was criticizing my grim reaper’s lack of élan.

I was judging her for letting her roots show, so that I barely heard the “death sentence”.

Of course your mileage may vary.

Dr Jay

Becoming Stress Resistant

Jay Irvin bravery, growth, leadership, mindfulness, opinion, oregon, police, problem solving, psychology, Uncategorized , , , , ,

 

Stress2

I work in a violent field.  I know it’s not politically correct to say that, but it’s true.  While most (98%) of my interactions are civil I am paid and trained to be violent when needed.

Ask any police officer and most will tell you they don’t like violence. But they prepare to be violent when needed.

This very nature of policing is a little schizophrenic. On one hand we don’t like violence, we try to prevent violence, we take steps to avoid violence, we protect the vulnerable from violence….And on the other hand we meet violence with over-whelming violence.  It’s ironic.   And it’s stressful.

Yesterday I attended a critical incident debrief for a situation I was involved in.  This was a peer support debrief with multiple agencies.  There were about a dozen policing professionals at the meeting.

Because of the confidential nature of these briefings I will not disclose the incident or agencies….. But my attendance got me thinking….

One of the things police officers must do is become stress resistant.  We must inoculate ourselves against stress. It’s similar to getting a ‘flu shot’.  It’s not always perfect, but it’s the best we can do against getting ‘sick’.

How do we give ourselves (as police or anybody else) these stress inoculations?   Here are some ways to keep your sanity:

  1. Participate in good training.  Continue learning.  It doesn’t matter if your organization does the training or if it’s one you had to find and fund for yourself…. Do the training.   Train like you work (or fight).  Treat learning as a mandatory part of your job.  Look for learning lessons in every situation so you can always grow.   Budget a certain amount of time and money each month in your own education.  Continue to learn and grow.
  2. Vary your interests.  Be good at multiple things.  If you only do one thing, you’ll become proficient at that one thing…. But you’ll probably become very imbalanced.  For police officers there must be more than “the job”.  Learn to cook.  Write a blog. Study botany. Coach little league. Build furniture. Learn to weld. Build model airplanes. Do something that is NOT cop related. Become good at these additional pursuits.
  3. Remember your family/community.  Stay connected.  It’s easy to disconnect from those who aren’t “on the job”.  Make sure you protect your family time.  Keep a date night.  Remember to play with your kids.  Call your mom or dad… take them flowers.  Sit and visit with family and do NOT talk about work.  If you don’t have family adopt a grandpa or grandma from a care facility.  They’ll appreciate the company and you’ll learn a different perspective.
  4. Allow yourself to be human.  Everybody has weaknesses.  While you may work to overcome your issues, don’t blow them out of proportion and don’t feed into them.  You’re human.  Let yourself be human.  Forgive yourself for not being perfect.  The public and the media often have unrealistic expectations for police and public servants.  Most of us are doing the absolute best we can with the tools, equipment, and training we have.  If your head and heart are in the ‘right place’ let the negative expectations of being a super-hero go.
  5. Work to solve your own problems.  Life isn’t fair. Sometimes things won’t go your way.  This seems counter-intuitive to reducing your own stress. It’s not.   Don’t expect the administration or union solve your issues.  You have to look out for you. Know there are many resolutions to any problem and you have to figure the solution that works for you.  If you have raised children you know how important it is to teach children how to problem solve.  Don’t forget to do it for yourself.
  6. Live healthy.  This means something different for everybody.  As I get older I realize less overtime is more healthy for me.  As a young guy I loved the big paycheck…. Not so healthy for me now.  It will be different for you…. Does this mean working out more?  Lowering your cholesterol? Finding a spiritual community you enjoy?  Getting a better mattress for better sleep?  Taking a fishing vacation?  Losing 10 pounds?  Cutting out tobacco?  I don’t know for you.  I do know that as you move towards healthier life choices, you become more stress resistant.

Obviously this is not an exhaustive list.  You can create your own.

The challenge is to start thinking differently…..

Of course, Your mileage may vary.

Dr Jay

 

Who is Your Hero?

Jay Irvin bravery, courage, growth, hero worship, leadership, mindfulness, opinion, oregon, police, psychology , , , , , , , , ,

“A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is brave five minutes longer.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

As a culture we’ve confused celebrity with heroism. We’ve confused fame with nobility. I am saddened by this thinking.

Being considered a hero used to mean you had to have accomplished something that was significant or contributed to society.  You walked on the moon (Neil Armstrong) or led civil rights (Dr King) or averted a nuclear war (Cuban Missile Crisis, President Kennedy) or explored and developed new areas (Daniel Boone) or led an expedition (Lewis & Clark) or conquered the highest mountain (Edmund Hillary) or did something.

Today, most of the celebrity “heroes” are music moguls or athletic stars: They are entertainment figures. I believe music and sports have a place in culture and there are notables in both fields.  Some notables are iconic…. But not heroes. They are famous… But not heroes.  They have celebrity, but are not heroes.

I guess it all comes down to your definition of “hero” or “heroine”.   The generally recognized definitions of hero are: :

  • a mythological or legendary figure
  • one admired for great courage or noble qualities
  • an object of extreme admiration and devotion

The word “hero” comes from Greek “heros” meaning demi-god.  A demi-god is one who isn’t quite a god yet, but has more power than a mere mortal.  To be clear, I’m using the term “hero” which is the masculine form.  “Heroine” implies the same, but in feminine form.  “Heroine” was first used in c.1650.

Webster’s first definition seems to fit the form of demi-god.  Persons held in mythological stature (sometimes fables) from embellished stories passed through generations (Paul Bunyan, Johnny Appleseed, Robin Hood). Or “super-hero” fantasy characters (Superman, Bat-man, etc.)

For me, the second definition is the one that resonates.  Those people who demonstrate courage or bravery and maintain noble qualities (9/11 responders, combat veterans, those working to help less fortunate: nurses, firefighters, police officers).  These are the people that very seldom become famous but continue to do a difficult thankless job in spite of the lack of rewards.

A real hero is a mom who continues to “do the right thing” even when the no-good dad is nowhere to be found.  A real hero is the teacher’s aide who gives a hungry child a snack from her personal lunch stash.  A real hero is the anonymous citizen who shepherds a lost child until the child is safe.  A real hero is the Average Joe giving CPR until medics show up.  A real hero doesn’t have anything to do with popularity or celebrity.  Most heroes are the unsung ones.

I met a couple of real heroes yesterday.  I had the honor of helping at a fund-raiser for Special Olympics.  There I met a  married couple who happened to be corrections Captains. They have been volunteering for this charity for nearly two decades. Yesterday they spent a 12 hour unpaid Saturday helping make dreams come true for the less fortunate.  They are real heroes, yet there were no TV cameras or media blitz.  They did it because of their noble ideals.

The last definition of heroism is probably the most popular and disappointing (to me).  Idol-worship.  Fame based heroism.  I threw up a little in my mouth when I typed that.  Some celebrities rebel against this archetype– (“I am not a role model”- Charles Barkley).  However most celebrities revel in the hyperbole and believe the hero worship.

I don’t think I’ve ever understood our national fascination with celebrity.  I can’t identify the Kardashians out of a police line up. I think this has to do with my upbringing.  I grew up without television.  My mom was a religious nut and thought TV was evil.  She was serious about it.  My sister and I were not allowed to watch TV at friend’s houses and we were trained to turn away from televisions when we saw them on display in a department store.  Weird, huh?

There were some good side effects from growing up without TV.  I became a prolific reader.  I learned to listen and talk with anybody. I never idolized sports figures nor TV celebrities. The people I held in esteem as heroes were ones I met through our social circles (Lester Roloff, Fred Sink, Joe Hege) or ones I read about (Charles Lindbergh, Amelia Earhardt, Harry Truman, Apostle Paul, Lincoln, Gandhi, Da Vinci, Shakespeare, Newton, Helen Keller, and the list goes on).

But this isn’t about me.  This is about how we as leaders can effect positive change in our circles of influence. How can we create a shift away from idol worship to true heroism?  Here are some ideas:

  • Set the example. Know your own heroes.  Make your ‘walk’ congruent with your ‘talk’
  • Look for unsung heroes and acknowledge/reward them. What gets rewarded get repeated.
  • Teach values other than becoming famous or popular.  Realize social media “likes” or being popular aren’t good indicators of character or nobility.
  • Know good character is a developed trait. More practice makes better character.  Build yours and theirs.
  • Recognize every real-world hero is human and fallible– They make mistakes AND may still be heroic.  Just because you make mistakes doesn’t necessarily make your actions less heroic. (Think heroic effort)
  • Understand “anti-heroes” and learn why we like them (Bonnie & Clyde, Sopranos, Blackbeard)

Psychologically we need heroes. They give us inspiration and help us aspire to our “higher selves”. And we will find heroes… Consciously or not.  It’s better to make your heroes ones you choose, not ones the media or your boss or your social circle chooses for you.  You are in charge of your own narrative. You can live the life you’ve imagined!

Of course, your mileage may vary.

Dr Jay