humor

What’s Your Purpose?

Jay Irvin growth, humor, leadership, mindfulness, oregon, psychology , , , , ,

I guess the question of “What’s Your Purpose?” came to my mind because I caught myself doing things out of habit instead of on purpose.  I know you can do just about anything you set your mind to if you have strong enough motivation… If you have a strong enough purpose….

With that in mind, I decided to cut back my refined sugar intake–My purpose in reducing my sugar consumption is to:

  • live longer
  • be healthier
  • control my diabetes better
  • drop a couple of inches from my waistline
  • improve my energy and
  • promote other health benefits I can’t even think of

But I sabotaged my purpose through an unhealthy habit.  This came to my conscious awareness just after I popped a piece of left-over Valentine’s chocolate into my mouth…. An unconscious behavior…. a habit… after a healthy meal!

For years I’ve publicly stated that my white powder drug of choice is sugar. My sugar habit is akin to a smoker lighting up…. I didn’t even think about what I was doing until the creamy chocolate truffle was melted in my mouth…. Geez what’s wrong with me?

Freud would say my purpose wasn’t properly internalized…. Therefore I didn’t behave in a way consistent with my stated desires…. My ID just beat my EGO and my SUPEREGO laughed in judgement.

Jung would say my Self was overcome by my shadow — Or the personal unconsciousness of the whole which encompasses the compensating values of the dark side or trickster archetype.

Erikson would simply question “Was it OK to have been you?” (In a German accent of course)

Ellis would reinforce that I never knew my truest beliefs about myself and was doomed to eat the chocolate until I adjusted my unknown beliefs.

Rogers may hypothesize that the apparent in-congruence of a fully functioning person is because of my lack of openness to the experience.

Skinner would remind me that my freewill to not eat sugar was just an illusion.

Or maybe I set myself up for failure?  I am the one who left the candy in my candy drawer.  And I have a CANDY DRAWER!

Perhaps I wasn’t honest with myself?  If I really intend to cut sugar out then why do I have a stash?  Hmmmmm…. Honest self-introspection isn’t always fun.  Dr Jay the behaviorist makes a diagnosis of Jay the sugar fiend.  Behavior betrays motivation…. Again.

But this isn’t just about candy.  It’s about everything in life.  Is my stated purpose aligned with how I’m living my life?  What is my stated purpose?  Am I setting myself up for success in that purpose? What is my vision? What are my real goals? How do my stated goals match up with my behaviors?

Are my organizational goals aligned with the behaviors at work?  We say we want compassion… Do we take the time to show it to our citizens?   We say we want community policing… Do we make the effort to engage them in our responses?  So much room for growth!

Perhaps this isn’t you. Maybe you, your purpose, your goals are congruent and aligned.  I hope so!  But I’ve got work to do….

And of course,  Your mileage may vary!

Dr Jay

 

 

What Christmas Means to Me

Jay Irvin humor, oregon, police, Uncategorized , , ,

merry-christmas

I’ll be 57 on my next birthday.  I’m a salty street cop.  I’ve been accused of having “resting dick-face”.  I don’t have grand kids to celebrated the wonder of Christmas. Last week, during briefing, my work mates referred to me as ‘Grinch’ because I didn’t express a desire to do a white elephant gift exchange.  Yet I think I’m a sweet sentimental guy who enjoys Christmas.

I did all my Christmas shopping on my own and wrapped each present without any assistance.  I tried to get thoughtful gifts.  I put up outside Christmas decorations (in a downpour). I wear my “Who’s Your Santa” hat.  I listen to Christmas music on the radio.  I say “Merry Christmas” not “Happy Holidays”.   I went with grown kids to the holiday lights on display in the city.

But none of those items are what I was raised to believe Christmas was about.

I was born into a fundamentalist Christian home.  My family never had a Christmas tree or holiday decorations.  My mom thought it was “too pagan”.  There was never any talk about Santa.  Santa usurped the celebration of the Christ-child. We read the birth of Christ passages from the KJV bible every Christmas Eve.

We shared gifts in the tradition of the Magi.  Christmas was about the birth of Christ. Christmas was about the spirit of giving. We caroled (to bring cheer to shut-ins). We ate well and shared gifts of food.  Every good child’s wish list always included the phrase ‘fruits and nuts and candy’.

I was taught that God gave his Son to the world.  The Magi brought gifts to the arrival of the god-child. Mary gave the immaculate born son.  And we must give gifts to commemorate the birth of Jesus the Messiah.

This event, Christmas, is the defining holiday for the Christian religion.  In my thinking, religion is about belief, so Christmas is about belief.

My beliefs as an adult are different from the beliefs I inherited as a child. Now my beliefs are not based in religion.  But I still believe in Christmas.

Here’s what I want Christmas to mean to me:

  • Family
  • Friends
  • Traditions
  • Love
  • Kindness
  • Eggnog
  • Good food
  • Holiday music
  • Scratching my head trying to find a ‘good’ gift
  • Generous strangers

Unfortunately here’s actually what Christmas usually means to me now:

  • Double-time
  • Domestic violence
  • Drunks
  • Neglected children
  • Drunk drivers
  • Suicidal people
  • More drunks
  • Family beefs
  • Sexual abuse reports
  • Mental health welfare checks

OK…. maybe I am a grumpy, cynical old fart…. But I sure don’t see myself that way… And I like Christmas anyway…

Of course, your mileage may vary.

Dr Jay

 

 

How to Waste Time

Jay Irvin humor, Uncategorized, writing ,
  1. Get new toys.
  2. Meet new people.
  3. Try a chat room.
  4. Reddit
  5. Cat videos
  6. Seinfeld reruns
  7. Read DVR instructions
  8. Wrap presents
  9. Brush the cat
  10. Fill the dog water
  11. Text a joke
  12. Program your security system
  13. Check out the video on your system
  14. Read a blog
  15. Fiddle with Facebook settings
  16. Search for new FB friends
  17. Connect your freckles with a marker
  18. Scratch your dog’s belly
  19. Scratch your own belly
  20. Watch a commercial
  21. Flip through the channels during a commercial
  22. Check your mailbox
  23. Read your junk mail
  24. Send the response envelopes back empty
  25. Organize your Q-Tips
  26. Sanitize your toothbrush
  27. Clip your nails
  28. Buff your cuticles
  29. Make a snarky list for your blog
  30. Look for snarky lists on blogs
  31. Recycle your coffee grounds
  32. Feed your pets
  33. Pet your pets
  34. Take out the trash
  35. Sort the recycle
  36. Fiddle with your Facebook settings
  37. Google
  38. Reddit again
  39. Read the fine print
  40. Wait on hold
  41. Organize your floss drawer
  42. Think about grade school
  43. Read this til the end
  44. Practice a chuckle

Of course….. your mileage may vary

Dr Jay