Truth, Lies, and Other Ambiguous Topics

None of us could live with a habitual truth teller; but, thank goodness, none of us has to.            —–Mark Twain

Time Magazine ran an interesting article a few years ago that confirmed liars lie.   University of Amsterdam researchers used grant money to come to that conclusion.   I’m guessing it doesn’t take advanced degrees to figure out admitted liars lie, but now it’s certified and the article is listed as a professorial publishing for some doctoral candidate…. So maybe there was some benefit to the research.

We expect to meet some liars — Politicians, car sales professionals, a late night ‘pick-up’ artist, kids with their hand in the cookie jar, drunk drivers admitting to having “two” beers, and the list goes on….

Famous defense attorney Gerry Spence said he never lost in court because he always told the truth and never lied.  When I read that I wondered how he defined “truth”.   On the street I know the “truth” is elusive.  I hear the victim. I hear witnesses. I hear the suspect. I look at the evidence. The stories NEVER match and the evidence is usually sparse.  But I must find “truth”.

As a police officer there is an expectation that I do not lie while conducting official business.  If a police officer is involved in an integrity investigation and it is determined that the officer lied, that officer will eventually lose certification and not be allowed to work in law enforcement.  If a police officer lies in court, that officer becomes a “Brady officer” and cannot testify in court again without the previous lies becoming a matter of record.

Lying comes in many forms:

  • A false statement presented as true (I didn’t eat your cake)
  • An attempt to deceive or give false impression (I’m sorry you didn’t get promoted)
  • An attempt to not hurt feelings (That hair cut looks good on you)
  • Omitting an important or salient fact  (Seems good to me… Omitting that you haven’t really examined it)
  • Broken promises (Sure I’ll be there… with no intention)
  • Exaggeration (I bench 350 pounds)
  • Plagiarism (Pretending something is your original work, and it’s not)
  • Rationalism (Simply stated: Rational lies)

The truth is that humans lie, even when we intend to tell the truth.  Part of our lying is based on bias.  When we have a perception that what we are saying is ‘the gospel’ then it is…. From our point of view.  If you believe Tea Party dogma and espouse their ideals you may not think you’re lying, but there is a bias present.  If you think the Koch brothers are altruistic you may have a skewed perception. If we “preach” the liberal party line we may miss the “truth”.   Failing to acknowledge our bias may make us inadvertent liars.

And we participate in systemic lies.  I wear deodorant because I don’t want you to know the truth about me.  Without deodorant I may have body odor.  Hair coloring, false nails, false eyelashes, creative make-up, and push-up bras are all systemic lies.  Generally we appreciate the results systemic lies give us (we rationalize), but still they are attempts to hide the “truth”.  Or is a well made up, beautifully coiffed, enchantingly dressed woman really the “truth”?  Depends on your perception or bias.

When we lie, we lie for a reason. Sometimes the reason is conscious and sometimes it’s unconscious.

  • We lie to avoid negative consequences. (I did not leave the door open)
  • We lie to “fit in”. (Oh, I like hip-hop too)
  • We lie to be social (Yeah, it’s a great party)
  • We lie to be liked (Great chili!)
  • We lie to get better results (All I need is your support boss)
  • We lie to grab power or autonomy (Power as adults, autonomy as children)
  • We lie because of self delusion (I never lose at Scrabble)
  • We lie to help others (I saw him wearing his seat belt)
  • We lie to build low self-esteem (I have two purple hearts and a medal for bravery)
  • And the list goes on….

Psychiatrist Dr. Charles Ford wrote “Lies Lies Lies; The Psychology of Deceit” and goes into well researched data why we are such liars. The truth is that humans in groups have a baseline tolerance for lies based on specific societal norms. Our friends, jobs, associates, and peers tell us which are acceptable lies and which are not.  And normally we conform to these norms.  Normally……

Of course, your mileage may vary!

Dr Jay

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